35 Years

This past week my wife Patricia and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary.

35 years seems like such a long time. I've been married nearly twice as long as I was single.
But it also seems as if the years have just flown by. There have been good times and bad times, sorrow and joy.

I was 19 years old when we first married, and knew everything. You didn't even have to ask me - just being around me, you'd figure out that I "knew it all". But underneath that bluster, I was really a scared, insecure kid. I thought I knew how to love my wife. I didn't even know what love was! 
(More thoughts on love here.)

Here's our engagement picture. See, I had hair once!

When we were married, our relationship was established on a close friendship. We didn't start out that way. When we were dating, everything we did publicly was "Christian" - church services, Bible studies, Christian concerts, youth group meetings. But when we were alone, let's just say we didn't exactly devote ourselves to pursuing God, or even to getting to know each other as friends. We jumped right into the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, based on physical attraction. This is not the way to develop a lasting relationship.

My parents could see we were making some poor choices, and thank God my father made a wise decision for me. He sent me off to college 60 miles from home, without my car. And God took care of the rest by putting me into a traveling singing group, effectively filling nearly every weekend with rehearsals and performance. (That story is here.)

35 years ago, there were no cell phones. And long distance phone calls were very expensive, and only used for emergencies. There was no Internet, no e-mail, no easy way to quickly communicate. (We did have ham radio, but my Morse code abilities were pitiful.)

Usually, when a couple whose relationship is built on physical attraction is separated for an extended time, their relationship withers and dies. In our case, we genuinely felt God had put us together and we desired to stay true to each other. So, we kept in touch by writing letters. A lot of letters. Mushy letters, at least some of the time. And we talked of our hopes and dreams, and our plans for the future. We became real friends, building our relationship on solid values with faith in God as our foundation.

At the end of my sophomore year in college, we were married. We chose the weekend before finals, so all our college friends would be able to attend. After a honeymoon weekend in Omaha (romance capital of the Midwest - you didn't know that?) we were back at school Monday morning so I could take finals.


There have been lots of trials and difficulties - everybody has them. Some people didn't think our marriage would last. But we were determined to make it work. Divorce was never an option, not even a consideration. And over time, we learned to love, really love each other.

We discovered that love is an action, not a feeling. And we've slowly developed the character qualities manifested in love - you know, patience, kindness, not jealous, not seeking one's own way, all those 1 Corinthians 13 principles. According to verse 8 of that chapter, love never fails. We're not there yet; we've failed lots of times. But through forgiveness and love, we keep going.


God blessed our union with three children, one of the great joys of our life. They've all grown to be responsible adults, and we're eagerly anticipating grandchildren as the next phase of our life. Katie married a great guy 2 years ago, and Melody's wedding is coming in September. Lowell lived his life to the fullest before he left this earth 3 years ago. I miss him every day, but take comfort in the knowledge we'll be together again in eternity. (More on that story here.)

Our last Christmas all together. A very rare shot of me clean-shaven.

I am so thankful for my wife. She's a blessing and a joy, my closest friend and companion. She challenges me and keeps me active and engaged. She's my greatest cheerleader, and gladly puts up with my crazy ideas. (Okay, maybe not always so gladly...)

Our kids organized a costume party last fall.

We went as Mary Poppins & Bert the chimney sweep.

35 years is a long time...but it's only the start of a lifelong commitment. I love Patricia more now than ever. We've enjoyed a good life, and with God's help we'll overcome the challenges and make our way to the finish in victory. The best is yet to come!

The Wisest Choice Ever

I was born on a Tuesday. The following Sunday I was in church.
I was in every Christmas program, never missed Sunday School, went to Vacation Bible School every year, and attended Bible classes on Saturdays for five years, from 4th through 8th grade.

I knew a whole lot about God. But I didn't know Him. Didn't know you could know Him.

This was not my parents' fault, nor my teachers', nor the pastor's. Actually this was a fairly typical situation. Most kids go along happily with what they've been taught, until one day they come to a crisis in faith. And then they begin asking questions, such as "Is what my family and my church taught me really true? What is real? What is genuine?" As a parent, you have demonstrated what you truly believe by the way you live your life. (Hope your words and your actions lined up...) But God has given each of us freedom to choose, and sooner or later everyone has to make a decision for themselves.

I came to my crisis point in junior high. I was scrawny, socially inept and very unsure of myself.
I was looking for a purpose. I wanted my life to MEAN something. I started examining the various popular ideas of the time. There were all sorts of voices clamoring for attention, insisting that they held the path to true enlightenment. There was a tremendous spiritual hunger among young people, and there was no shortage of people claiming to know the answer.

Drugs were one of those ideas. An ivory tower professor named Timothy Leary promoted LSD as the door to spiritual awakening. The Beatles and lots of other popular musicians were singing about the joys of drug use. Of course, right about this time several of those artists' lives ended quite prematurely due to overdose - Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison died within a few months of one another. This caused me to view recreational drug use with a great deal of suspicion. However, a number of my friends were already experimenting, and it was readily available, even in my relatively isolated small Nebraska town.

Another idea advocated by the Beatles was Eastern mysticism, especially Hare Krishna and Transcendental Meditation, both expressions of Hinduism. Other popular paths included yoga, self-realization, Scientology, "free love" and vegetarianism. And then there was the Jesus Movement. A lot of young hippies got disillusioned with sex, drugs and rock & roll, and the hedonistic lifestyle. After indulging their flesh to the extreme and coming up empty, they started looking for something more. And the Holy Spirit started drawing them to Himself. A genuine revival began sweeping through the nation and around the world, as young people tapped into the real power of God and had their lives totally changed.

So I'm 14 years old and looking for what's really true. My older sister Janet went off to a youth conference in Denver and came back completely changed. She had been painfully shy before, but now she was making friends, writing songs and hanging out with a wide range of committed Christian teens. I was puzzled as to what had happened, but it was obvious she'd had a significant life-altering experience. And it wasn't some flash in the pan - she continued to grow in faith and understanding. God had invaded her life, and she'd never be the same. I was determined to find out what had happened.

My chance came in June 1972. There was a week long youth camp at a college 60 miles away, and I convinced my parents to let me go. (Probably wasn't very hard.) It was culture shock for sure. Meals in the dining hall, small groups, mandatory quiet time (a totally new concept for me), foot frolics in the gym (if they had called it dancing, adolescent males might have rebelled.) The camp director was a retired pastor. We figured he was ancient, like 50 or so. (He was 80 - and he was the one leading the foot frolics!)

On Thursday, June 29th, he sat down at a picnic table one on one with me. I don't remember if he did this with all the students or if I had been singled out. All I know is he challenged me to consider where my life was going and encouraged me to make a commitment to Christ. There was no walking the aisle, no organ wheezing out Just As I Am, no begging, pleading or raising of hands. He presented the truth, then let the Holy Spirit do the work. By the end of the day, I'd asked Jesus in. No fireworks, no angel choirs - but I had an immediate sense of total peace.

When I got home, God didn't leave me hanging. My sister and her friends had decided to start a Christian coffeehouse in a funky old building downtown, right on the square. I jumped in with both feet. The next three years were intense, filled with Bible studies, concerts, "prayer and praise" meetings, street ministry, church services, fellowship meals - pretty much something every night. And it wasn't a chore - we wanted to be where God was moving, didn't want to miss anything.

I was filled with the Holy Spirit the moment I yielded to Christ. (Romans 8:9-11) As I pursued God, the Spirit began empowering me to do the work He had for me. Which is exactly what Jesus said would happen. (Acts 1:8) This is what had happened to my sister. She had an encounter with the living God, and He came to live inside her in the person of the Holy Spirit. Her life was immediately changed, and she's still serving Him faithfully some 40 years later. (I told you she was a major influence on my life.) If you want, you can find out more about her here: http://janetbauer.blogspot.com/

Jesus also said without Him I can do nothing. (John 15:5). And I've found that to be totally true. Lots of times I've tried to handle things on my own, without God's guidance and wisdom. ("I can handle this one, God. Thanks.") After I hit the wall and pick myself up a few times, I recognize the wisdom of staying closely connected to the True Vine. Again.

This June it will be 40 years since I made that decision for Christ. And I don't regret one minute of it. I've seen lots of my friends and acquaintances crash and burn. Without Him we can do nothing.

My life has purpose and meaning, with an awesome retirement plan. Of course there have been difficulties, trials and tragedy. I'll talk more of such things as we go along. But I am convinced that the life I would have had without Christ cannot compare to the one I've lived with Him.
And I am truly thankful.

More about me

I am a lot of things: husband, father, son, musician, writer, editor, TV production guy, photographer, teacher, friend, listener. All these characteristics are important to me, but the number one thing that defines me and directs everything else in my life is: I am a Christian. Don't misunderstand - I'm not really religious, at least not the way I define religion.

I think religion is man trying to please God through actions. It's as if there's a giant balance scale in heaven, and we think all the bad stuff we do is piled on one side and all the good stuff goes on the other side. The idea is, if the good outweighs the bad, we get into heaven. And most people think they're doing a pretty good job. Virtually all world religions are based on some sort of works righteousness. If you follow the rules, God will like you and you'll have right standing with Him. Of course, the rules are different depending on which religion you choose. For example, Islam has its Five Pillars; Buddhism principles include asceticism, simplicity and alms; Hinduism, Shinto, Sikh religions all have their tenets. (This is, of course, a massive oversimplification.)

Even many Christian groups have lots of rules - what you can wear, what you can eat or drink, how you wear your hair, what kind of people you can associate with, the kind of entertainment you can enjoy - the list is nearly endless.

But the Bible says 1> all of us have sinned (Romans 3:23) and 2> it doesn't matter how many commandments you keep, if you break even one you're guilty of them all (James 2:10).
That's the bad news. The good news is 1> While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8) and 2> salvation comes to us through faith in Christ, freely offered through God's grace - it's not based on any works we can do. (Ephesians 2:8-10)

There are lots of very sincere, God-loving people who define religion differently from me, and I'm fine with that. Don't question their salvation, don't think they're heretics for disagreeing with me. I'm learning there are lots of ways to relate to God, and He's big enough to meet us where we are and reveal Himself to us if we honestly and diligently seek to know Him. (see Jeremiah 29:13) But for me, a key understanding of Christianity is that it's a relationship, not a religion.

Jesus said He is the vine, we are the branches. The only way to succeed as a Christian is to stay connected to Him. (John 15:5) God is so much more interested in our attitudes than our actions. If you're seeking to impress God and people with your actions, you're just a Pharisee.
If your heart attitude is correct, your actions will follow.

Nearly 40 years ago I made a choice to follow Jesus with my whole heart. I've made lots of mistakes - I am far from perfect. But Christianity has been the guiding principle of my life. Jesus has given me hope and purpose. I've found joy in serving God and serving my fellow man. I have learned what it means to really love. My life has had high and low points, triumph and tragedy. But through it all, Jesus Christ has never failed me. Over time, I'll discuss a lot of this in further detail.

I really don't intend all my posts to be this serious. But now and then there will be some like this one, because this is a lot of who I am. In my next post, I'll look back to 1972 and tell about the best decision of my life, how I came to Christ.